Early Days

September 4, 2010

I think I am about to learn how little I know. Each trip to Africa has its humbling moments and I am compelled to sink further into my cache of what I don’t knows in an effort to overcome the what I think I knows and the assumptions of what I think to be and a whole new spin on perception as truth.

It is so easy to give in our society, to drive someone somewhere, to offer a meal or a bed; none of it comes at a sacrifice. The thing to watch, to become aware of in this world is the level of sacrifice to offer such things as though it were easy and yet to observe and internalize how much it truly costs each person who extends a courtesy beyond their means, well knowing that I have deeper lined pockets, a ticket home and a passport back to the life of easy give, easy take.

I don’t mean to glamorize or roll around in the generosity of the people here, but neither do I mean to trivialize or condescend to its charms for I also know that often underneath the offer is a higher price than I am prepared to pay for it differentiates me from the reason of being here. For every offer to help the mzungu places me in different category. That I cannot fend, that I am to be feted and tenderly handled keeps me from the understanding and the gap that bridges, for if I receive all that I am offered, I am above the life that I have come to try and comprehend. Every one of my fellow travelers on that bus, the mucky roads, the bank line up is as numb and sore and frustrated as I am.. I just need to learn how not to have that look on my face.. that in itself is a challenge to overcome.